When James was first diagnosed with the cancer, I tried to find as many ways possible to educate myself and learn more about this treacherous disease.  During those efforts, I found an online support group that was just specifically for Signet Ring Cell Cancer.  I am sure I spoke about this group in a previous post, but I used that group to not only get support, but to give support as well because I know the pain and stress that comes along with it.   There were other groups that James and I both belonged to, but this particular group was only for me.  I wanted it to be my safe place, and it used to be just that for me.  I haven’t gone on much since he passed, unless I wanted to share a picture or a quick update with them.  I put it off for some time and I finally gathered the strength and went there recently to give support and let them all know I haven’t forgot about them.  It’s been extremely hard to go back, but if I was going to stick by my word, then I couldn’t just up and leave this group behind.  I had to live up to the motto “we are in this together” and “you are not alone”.  

It’s been weighing heavy on my heart that I am not doing what I should be doing.  If anyone knows me, they know I have a passion to help others and volunteer when I’m able.  I seemed to have lost that passion and let it go for a while, but after chatting with someone, I decided that I needed to do something in memory of James and focus on supporting those who are new to this battle.  The purpose of starting this blog was to not only share our story, but to educate others as much as possible about this rare type of cancer.  If I can make a difference in at least one person’s life, then I know that I did my job.  

With that being said, I feel strongly compelled to focus my spare time in finding a way to make others smile.  I am not quite sure what that looks like just yet, but for those who would like to join in these efforts please let me know.   I have spent up to 12 hours sitting with James while he was getting his infusions and I can honestly say that I got to learn a lot.  Not everyone has someone to sit with them during a vulnerable time like that.  I would bring treats to the nurses and sometimes the other patients.  I want to do something bigger than that though.  Yes, I will continue to give to the nurses/drs that helped us but like I said, I want to find more ways to help.  I am open to ideas and/or suggestions.  Once the shelter in place is fully lifted, I will give my time so until then, I want to donate to the cause. 

Let’s help make the world a better place and provide kindness when we can.  Thanks again for all the love and support.  Now go out and make someone smile!