It’s with extreme sadness that I must share with you all, the passing of James’s brother, Frankie.   On Sunday, May 17th, he was taken away  from those who loved him over a senseless act of violence.  His years to grow old with his wife were taken away unnecessarily, and his family is mourning the loss of someone that was their rock.  My heart aches for them because I also suffered a loss not too long ago.  My beautiful mother in law lost her two youngest children a month apart and I can’t even imagine the void and emptiness she feels inside.  She is definitely the strongest woman I know, but even the strong have their breaking point.  

Losing James is still so fresh and raw, I cry every day.  They tell me there are different stages of grief and it’s okay to feel them all.   I never knew a pain like this and I would give anything to have him back.  Just to feel his touch and hear his voice one last time would be worth the price of anything.  Even when I am the most vulnerable and down, I am trying to keep it together for the entire Ibarra family but how can I give comfort while needing to still be comforted?  I don’t know the answer to that question, but I will make every effort to do it and stay strong for my children, my in laws, and especially Frankie’s wife and children.  It was only a month ago that I was in her shoes and God knows it doesn’t get any easier.  I can’t lie and provide the advice that things will get better and she will feel better as each day passes because it’s simply not true.  We just learn to live and move ahead at our own pace. 

My advice to those reading would be to make an effort to tie up lose ends and reach out to those whom you have unfinished business with.  Unfortunately I never got to talk to my brother in law after James passed.   I didn’t get to say good bye or even provide comfort for what he was dealing with and all the stuff that came along losing his baby brother.  

I hope everyone can take away a little something about what you have read.  Pick up the phone instead of texting, hand write a letter instead of sending an email, hug your family for no other reason than you want to feel them close to you, and forgive without an apology because you just don’t know what someone is battling.  Sounds cliche, but next time you hear the words “life is short”, believe it!   

I would like to end this post by bringing something to light.  On April 17th, Frankie honored his brother, my husband, by posting a picture with the hashtag #FlyOnRightThroughMaybeOneDayICanFlyWithYou. Damn this line hit hard when I read it and it’s crazy that this has happened and his line is now a reality.  Fly on, Brother! Fly on!!