As time continued to move forward, I’ve realized that I’ve failed to make good on the promise I made to all my loved ones that have been there for us throughout this whole process. I promised that I would make time for them and make more of an effort to respond to voicemails, text messages, and e-mails. Well the truth is that I lied to everyone because I haven’t done those things like I know I should be doing and I am sorry. As of late I’ve lost my motivation to do anything. I just want to get under a blanket, eat some ice cream, and have a good cry. I’m mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. I don’t know how I’m even functioning nowadays. I get so caught up in making sure everyone else is good around me that I’ve neglected myself. The truth is, no matter how I’m feeling James and my family will always come before myself right now. The days that James doesn’t feel well I want to be home, the days he does feel well I want to be home, and the days my kids are feeling well I want to be home.
I need to snap out this place and make good on my promise to live the rest of our lives as the best of our lives. I would often tell others going through similar situations that I understood, but that too was a lie because it wasn’t until this very moment that I truly understood the severity of the situation and all the after effects it has on people. I hope that this dark spell will soon pass and I will then be able to do what I do best and start making people smile & laugh again. I know that person is somewhere inside me and she WILL make a comeback. Please don’t give up on me and I appreciate and love you all for all the support and kind words!
MOMENTS THAT BRING US TOGETHER 
Your LOVE is NOT a LIE!
You do need your time to focus on James and your children Comadre. There is nothing wrong with that and I am sure everyone understands. You know me, I make my plans to come visit, hoping and praying it’s a good day for everyone. These moments count. Robert trys hard to make his regular during the week visits because he cherishes the time there spent. It’s the effort on our part, not you.
My heart aches and I’m sure not as much as yours but believe me it does, and no matter what, I am here for all of you. We LOVE you! Continuous prayers! In Jesus mighty name for that miraculous healing in James! Amen!
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Bambi I truly understand those feeling and believe me after a long journey with faith in God and family and friends prayers your life will be kind of normal again, because the feeling of Cancer never goes away, regardless of where you go or what you do it’s always there. Believe me you’re not alone and many of us send prayer for you, James and your entire family 🙏🏻❤️
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My heart goes out to James, you and your family. Please know that you are loved and you need to do what’s best for you! Everyone needs some down time to re-group and regain strength. Thank you for sharing your journey.
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Bambi,
God is with you every step of the way. Your Family and true Friends understand what you and James are going through. It’s completely understandable to feel the way you do. Just know this, you have not lied not in any stretch of the imagination. You are where you need to be. Stay strong and stay Blessed. Love you guys!!
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I have had similar feelings as my husband battles cancer. It is truly a life-changing experience for us. Home is a safe place and family is a priority. Be gentle on yourself. I expect you will have some good moments to celebrate throughout this difficult journey. Love and hugs💙🙏💙, Marci from MN
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Thank you, Marci! I am so glad we connected. I know how much you can relate to what we are going through as a family. Hugs to you too from California 🙂
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