I would like to just take a moment to express my frustration. My life hasn’t been exactly enjoyable over the last year or so and I understand that we all have our own personal battles and life struggles.  Myself, better than anyone, understands this as I have spent my entire adult life with ever changing circumstances and have also had several different seasons.  My seasons have consisted of depression, fortune, financial struggles, and life lessons.  As I reflect back on everything, It seems that I have lived each season more than once.  I say that to now say this, I never thought in a million years that I would be experiencing the season that I am living today.  For those of you who do not know, I am not only a mother and wife and care for my family, but I am also the caregiver to my mom who suffers from her own health conditions.  I am just a daughter trying to do her best at juggling all her responsibilities. It’s not easy to say the least, and at times feeling like an only child with the least amount of appreciation gets demoralizing.  

Aside from my own personal struggles, I have also had a front row seat to witnessing a lot of those close to us become distant and not be present in our lives anymore.  It’s during times like these that reveal the true character and nature of individuals. This past year has been a learning experience for my family.  Our circle became smaller and it gave us the chance to weed out the ones that just don’t want to be part of this fight for whatever reason.  This has really upset me and I am disappointed.  SOME of the same ones that said “let me know if you need anything, I will be there” are now the ones that are nowhere to be found.  For the record, Cancer is not contagious and it’s okay to check in, you won’t catch anything.  It is also more than okay to check-in on James or our children directly without asking me for updates. I don’t always need to be the hub of everything going on. 

To put things in perspective, we have a close friend whose daughter is battling Leukemia for the third time and she has also gone through two major transplants.  I can only imagine how he is feeling as a father but even with all that going on in his life, he still manages to check in on us.  

Everything has now made me realize that I need to stop focusing on all the people who don’t show up and give more time, attention, and appreciation to those who do.  Those who support and show up need more credit than has been given.  I may not always show how much I appreciate each and every one of you individually, but I want you to know how much I truly do.  People would be surprised how much a simple “check-in” or text makes a difference.  I will make sure to give more to those who want to be part of our lives.  Time doesn’t cost a thing, but it’s the most generous thing anyone can give.  I would like to use these upcoming months to give our time to those that have been with us all the way through this battle so far, well as much as we can give and when James is feeling well enough to do so.  🙂

I want to give a special thank you to everyone who is in the battle with us.  Your support and love mean everything and gives us that extra push we need to get through each day.  I love all of you and I don’t want that message to be overlooked in this post. The intent of this is not a cry for help or for pity, I just wanted to express how I’ve been feeling and let those who have been there for us know how important they are to our family.