So much has changed during these past six months! Let’s just get right into it. The biggest change has been with the company that I keep. It is during the toughest situations in life that expose a person’s true colors.
Recently, someone asked me why I decided to cut some people out of my life. I was actually pleasantly surprised that they asked me that question. It felt good to know that someone wanted to know the truth rather than creating their own story in their mind out of fear of asking. Sometimes people are afraid of the truth. Yet, the fact is that I am not one to shy away from standing up for myself. I am a very outspoken person. I pride myself on standing up for what is right. I wear my heart on my sleeve. It’s simple: What you see is what you get.
I am a firm believer that if you are aware of someone’s poor behavior and you do not act or stand silent, then you are just as guilty as the offending party. As I get older, I find myself having no patience for those who do not take responsibility for their actions. I am tired of hearing the excuse “that’s just how they are.” It’s never too late for someone to take responsibility and make positive changes in their lives.
I have found the courage to finally stop giving second chances to those who hurt me and especially my husband. The person who asked me that difficult question gave me the opportunity to share my story, and I am thankful for that. I am happy that they did not opt to turn a blind eye or be an enabler of the problem as others have.
If you have any questions or want insight, do not hesitate to ask. I am an open book. Yet, I warn you: do not ask if you are not ready to hear it. This year has been harder than I expected it would be. It’s not just for the obvious reasons (if you know, you know). Some of the difficulties have been due to my kids and I moving out of the house we called home for the past 17+ years. That was definitely not easy for us to do. Leaving the only place where my kids have felt safe has been harder than anyone could imagine.
I started to write this while sitting alone in the garage on the last night of us in the house. We spent our last few weeks painting, cleaning and getting things in order. I cut a piece of the backyard cactus that James loved so much. We will take it with us and plant it in our new home. It’s not the same, but it’s a piece of home and something that will allow me and my kids to feel closer to James. And if and when we ever move again, we will take it with us and plant it wherever we go.
We all cried that last night together, yet we are so grateful for the memories we have and can take with us. I know that this is God’s plan for us. We are ready for the new adventures that our life brings. I now reflect and write at the late hours, but feel compelled to put my thoughts into words as this evening has been incredibly emotional.
Much LOVE to you all! And thank you for your continued support as we continue to navigate through all our changes. Our circle may be getting smaller but the love is only getting greater!
MOMENTS THAT BRING US TOGETHER 
New chapters can be cathartic. Sometimes the plans we think we have are no where near as amazing as the plans God has for us.
When we left the peace and comfort of Boysea Dr (very near and dear to us always) it felt like our world was crumbling. We didnt move by choice. It was by things outside of our plans or control. I cried buckets and was horribly devastated to leave my family, all you wonderful neighbors whom I still love and treasure. 18+ yrs was hard to say goodbye to. Amazingly the 1st move was healing and we gained another neighbor to love and keep as a dear friend. Our 2nd move was still in SJ, but we managed to make a couple new friends. Even more amazing was when we took a leap of faith and moved to Az. So far from our comfort zone and what we had ever known. We gained a new group of neighbors/family. Our cul-de-sac is warm, inviting and very close knit. We all watch out for one another and help each other. Very similar to all of you dear neighbors we’ve treasured for 28+ years. It was something I thought I’d never experience again.
Climate can be harsh. I won’t say I don’t miss some things we left. I miss the cooler climate of the Bay Area sometimes, the pine trees of my mountain home as a girl. My 2 kids who have rooted in their own houses in Northern Ca are sorely missed. I chose to embrace the change and grow where we’ve transplanted. I have found new things to love and enjoy here in Az that I didn’t and wouldn’t have known about had I stayed put in SJ. I’ve actually seen more of our friends and family since we’ve moved here than I ever saw in Ca. In 35 yers!! That was a pleasant and welcome surprise.
But, like you, we carried a piece of our old homes with us too – A plant I was told is sometimes referred to as “wandering jew”. I don’t know the scientific name, but it takes root where it’s planted. Randomly leaving pieces of itself to regrow where it lands. Kind of like us. It’s weathered many storms, 4 moves, extreme heat and changes and upheaval and even my forgetfulness in nurturing it with water and attention. It has blossomed and grown leaving memories of itself in the places we’ve lived.
I pray that you find joy, happiness and new beginning as you venture into your new life chapter. Allow your past to strengthen you as you meet new people, explore new horizons and stay open to all the possibilities that lie ahead. Blessings to you dear neighbor as you replant somewhere new. We are always here, a post or message away.
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Thank you, Michelle! I absolutely love this….. I am so extremely happy for you and I hope that I use these same encouraging words one day to give someone else peace.
You are incredibly missed and I will always admire the friendship/family we shared. It takes a village and you were always there for us unconditionally.
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